Monday, September 10, 2012

finding out about baby

I opened my eyes on June 17th, 2012.  Father's Day.

I thought about checking on my family, who had been staying with us for the night, but I couldn't wait another second.  I walked into the bathroom, got out a pregnancy test, and waited the dreaded three minutes.  One line appeared automatically and I continued to stare mercilessly for a second line.  For a few seconds, there was nothing.  Then, gradually...

I couldn't tell if another line had appeared or not.  I thought it had.  But I couldn't be sure.  Since the existence of a second line would change the course of our lives, I ran back and jumped on our bed.  Tim's eyes opened in surprise, unaccustomed to the rude awakening.  Instead of explaining myself, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of bed and toward the bathroom.  I pointed toward the test.

"Do you see one line or two?"

I could see him try to clear his head from the fog.  He focused his eyes on the test.  They slowly widened as he looked back up at me, comprehending what I was really asking.

"I think there's two."

"I think so, too."

I've never seen a man wake up so quickly.  Smiles spread widely across our sleepy faces as he pulled me into a tight hug.  We both jumped up and down and squealed in delight.  Tim pulled back with a dazed look in his eyes.

"Happy Father's Day to me," he said softly.  Then another huge smile spread across his face.

"Happy Father's Day," I smiled back.

Once we had calmed down a little bit, we said a short prayer, our hearts full of gratitude.

I briefly considered running out into the hallway and screaming our news to my family.  Then I came up with a much better idea.  I talked it over with Tim and we decided we'd wait to tell them until after church so we'd all have more time to soak it all in.

I squirmed through the entire three hours of church, trying to imagine what my parents' reactions would be like.  I'd never felt so impatient in my entire life.  After what felt like an entire day, we were all finally home from church.  I told my dad I had a Father's Day card for him and made him sit down on our couch.  Tim gathered my family around as I presented the card to my dad.  He looked at the front of the card and read aloud.

"The best dads are promoted to...grandpa."

He opened the card.

"Congratulations, Grandpa!  Happy Father's Day!"

His expression of shock was matched by every member of my family, but the shock quickly turned to utter delight and excitement.  My mom gave me a huge hug and my entire family took turns finding various ways of saying, "Wow!" and "Congratulations!"

My brothers soon turned their congratulations into teasing.  My little brother, Eric, who had just had a kidney stone, started giving words of "encouragement."

"Well, Katie, now you have the next eight months to prepare yourself for the most pain you've ever felt in your entire life."

And, "Good luck with all that pain and nausea in the next few months.  You're gonna need it."

Thanks, Eric.

My brothers always make me smile.

As we sat around our dining room table eating the Sunday dinner we'd prepared, happiness permeated the atmosphere of our home.  We talked about the future and my parents told all kinds of silly stories from when I was a little girl.  My brothers continued to tease me and Tim and I continued to smile at each other.

Throughout the evening, I wondered again and again when this was all really going to sink in.  Going to feel real.

Twelve weeks later, I'm still wondering the very same thing.

And we could not be happier.