Friday, March 6, 2009

a week and a day

My entire life, I have been generally resistant to change. There have been a few things that I was more than happy to change about my life (graduating high school falling into that category), but most of the time, I'm pretty content with the way things are. I blame this on my dad. If you've seen Father of the Bride, the character George Banks is my dad. Every person who's seen that movie and met my dad knows exactly what I'm talking about. It's a bizarre resemblance, really. Anyway, if it's possible to inherit some sort of change-resistant gene, I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me.

Let's take example number one. When my family moved from Yuma to Prescott in 2001, I was absolutely terrified. My life in Yuma was everything I had ever wanted (riding bikes around my neighborhood and catching lizards in my backyard), and the thought of moving just...didn't go over well. Luckily for me (actually, I don't know if lucky is the right word; I don't think Heavenly Father uses luck), I met my best friend of the next 8 years the day after I moved to Prescott. From that day on, Ashley and I were inseparable. We went swimming, caught lady bugs, explored in her vast backyard, had too many sleepovers to count, and when school started, we even hung out at school, though she was one grade ahead of me.

Then another tragedy occured. It was time for Ashley to move on to high school. And I was stuck in the 8th grade. I was definitely not a big fan of this change, but thankfully, Ashley did everything in her power to make this change as easy as possible for me, and we still hung out more often than not as soon as school was out. Cait moved into town my junior year of high school, and though it took me some time to get used to having a third member in our inseparable group, I eventually realized that Cait fit in perfectly. In far too short a time, however, it was time for Ashley and Cait to move on a second time without me. But this time, it was much further away. College. This was probably the hardest change of all for me. I went from having two best friends with me all the time to having two best friends come and visit me over Christmas break.

I finally realized that Ashley and Cait moving away to college was a positive change a year later when I moved away to college myself. Although I still missed Ashley and Cait dearly, I talked to them all the time on the phone and through our incessant emails. More often than not, I felt like I was writing a journal entry as I wrote the details of my day and every emotion that went along with the events of the day. Everything was going great. Until I learned about one more upcoming change. A big change.

Ashley got engaged.

To a normal best friend (if there is such a person), this probably wouldn't be a big deal. But, after all, this is me we're talking about. Normal has never been a part of my vocabulary. When she told me the big news, I told her how happy I was for her. I told her that this was the most exciting news I had ever heard. I was lying. I spent the next couple of days moping around and telling everyone who asked how I was that my best friend was getting married. I'm sure that wasn't quite the answer they were expecting. And it was probably made weirder by the fact that I probably looked like a hurt puppy. Things would just not be the same for us!

Though those intense feelings of disappointment finally assuaged slighly, I still felt like this was not okay. I felt that way right up until I was able to spend some time over Christmas break with Ashley and Jared. It hit me that night that this was exactly what Ashley needed. That Jared understood her, and was (and is), dare I say, perfect for her. That this actually was the right thing. From that night on, there was no more moping, no more complaining. I was okay with Ashley getting married. No, more than that--I was ecstatic that Ashley is getting married!

Ashley is getting married in one week and one day. And I could not be happier for her.

Yesterday, Cait hit me with the news that she started her mission papers. I'm...going to try not to mope for so long about this one.

1 comment:

Cait said...

Sparky!! I felt the same way at first about Ash's engagement, but I realized that we're not losing Ashley...we're just gaining a Jared. I'm sorry that I might be leaving you. But will never lose me. And I'm glad you realized that we could be a group of three. :) I miss you so, so, so much! I'll see you in less than a week! I can't wait!!!!