Saturday, March 13, 2010

confession

When I was around eight years old, it became known to me that many people had chosen a favorite verse of scripture. Well, I didn't want to be left out of such a righteous endeavor, so I decided it was time to choose mine.

So I did the first thing that any self-respecting eight-year-old would do and opened to Genesis, deciding that was a good place to start looking. I only had to read to verse three before the heavens opened, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this verse was my new favorite scripture. For those of you who don't have the book of Genesis memorized, it reads:

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."

You see, at the time, I was incredibly scared of The Dark. I didn't like walking around my house at night unless all the lights were on (and even then, you never knew when someone would be hiding behind a couch or something), and going to the bathroom after everyone had already gone to bed was pretty much out of the question. There was probably someone hiding in the hallway for goodness sakes!

Well, umm...I have a confession to make.

I am still scared of The Dark.

I can remember countless times in high school when I would have to walk out to the living room to get something, calmly telling myself the entire time that there was nothing to be scared of. I would turn on every light on the way out, and once I had retrieved what I was seeking, all of my common sense jumped out the window and I would book it as fast as I could back to my bedroom. I've never really been an athlete, but it's interesting how my long-jumps improved during these moments. I would make a flying leap from the hallway, soar over the dog laying on my bed, and land, grabbing the blankets and pulling them over my head as fast as I could. Because let's face it, no murderer would ever try getting past those blankets.

I know my dogs loves me, but it was always during those moments when I knew he was questioning my sanity. He would look up at me with an expression that clearly communicated his distaste at my having ruined his slumber. Sometimes he would even get off the bed and lay on the floor, as if to say, "See what you've done?"

Sadly, it was only after I was tucked safely in bed that I would realize that in my haste, I had forgotten to turn off all the lights.

I wish I could say that since then, maturity has set in, and I am now a rational, level-headed adult who is no longer scared of ridiculous things such as The Dark. Unfortunately, both of my roommates being gone at night brings to the surface many of the same fears that I have always had.

Thankfully, however, I am now better equipped than I have ever been.

After one particularly scary movie many moons ago, Matt gave me a broken golf club to serve as protection so that I would be able to sleep that night. (It may have actually been partially that he wanted to be able to go home that night and sleep as well.)

To this day, that broken golf club sits next to my bed.

Good thing the dark is scared of broken golf clubs.

Hey, we all have something we're afraid of.

3 comments:

Cait the Great said...

Bahaha. I love you. Also, this post makes me wish I was in Arizona because then we could share a room and I would totally walk you to the bathroom late at night if you needed me to. Also, it makes me think of Casey and the way he smells. He smells like dog. Also, sometimes he can be really stinky. I miss him. And his owner.

shirley elizabeth said...

Ha! This reminds me of how I used to try to lay as still as I could under my blankets and slow my heartbeat and barely breath and hope that any burglar would think I was a statue and go for my sisters first.

katielizabethawkes said...

haha for serious, I'm still afraid of the dark too! Especially the dark woods at night. But dark houses give me the heebie jeebies too. I'm glad it's totally logical that blankets make it all go away, because I feel the same way :)