almost-anniversary

I realize that it's now August 18th and that our anniversary was August 5th, but let's just take a second to pretend  that today is August 5th and that I am not a procrastinator.

Because one year ago today [cough, cough], I married my best friend.

And you know what?  I knew our marriage would be amazing.  I knew what kind of a man he was, and I knew how beautiful our relationship already was.

But looking back on that day, I see a naive young woman who didn't really understand what it would all be about or how amazing a marriage could really be.  Because you know what?

It's been better.  This past year has been far better than I could have ever imagined on August 5th, 2011.  Far better than I could have ever dreamed as a young girl imagining that prince I would someday marry in a fairytale far, far away.

Somehow, in some unfathomable way and for some unknown reason, I got the pick of the litter.  The cream of the crop.  I don't know how I got so lucky - or so blessed.  But I am so grateful.

That man I call my husband is truly the most selfless man I've ever met.  He's kind and strong and devoted.  He smiles - and somehow truly means it - even in the most difficult of situations.  He finds a way to laugh, and make me laugh, when life gets stressful or hard.  He is generous almost to a fault - but in the truest sense there is absolutely nothing faulty about it.  His faith in the Lord is unshakable and his quiet goodness is a constant reminder that I want to be better.  That I can be better.

During my freshman year of high school, my seminary teacher asked us what we were all looking for in a future spouse.  Everyone listed off the same superficial answers you always hear after such questions, but after some thoughtfulness, a senior boy that I really looked up to replied, "I want to marry someone who makes me want to be better."

And in so many ways, that has become the embodiment of my relationship with my husband and even of my view of love in general.  Not that I want to feel inferior to him, but that together, we can be better.  That we are better and stronger together than we ever could be apart.

My heart is filled with inexpressible joy that the baby I am carrying is going to have such an incredible father - a father who already loves him/her more than they may ever comprehend fully.  A father who will be a true dad in every sense of the word.

On August 5th, 2012, our real anniversary, I woke up at 2:00 in the morning with the stomach flu, which continued to get worse over the next ten or so hours, until I was completely and totally dehydrated.  I was miserable.  Eventually we decided it was time for the ER, and after the agonizing time spent in the waiting room, we finally made it back into a room where an IV placed in my arm seemed to make everything better.

Sounds like a totally miserable way to spend your anniversary right?  As Tim's brother, Billy, put it, "At least it won't be hard to make next year better."  But even though it was hard and miserable and made me just want to cry, looking back on the whole experience gives me fresh appreciation for my husband and for my marriage.  He took care of me the entire night, was endlessly concerned for my well-being, filled out all the paperwork I was then-incapable of even noticing, and smiled with a new light in his eyes the second I started feeling even minutely better.

And that, my friends, is what true love is really all about.

And I am truly grateful that I get to call Tim mine...forever.