Thursday, July 28, 2011

you're gonna miss this

Ever since I was a little girl, bad things have happened to me when I don't get enough sleep.

I get tired.  [#obviously]

I get emotional.

I get sick to my stomach.

And sometimes just sick in general.

Then puberty hit and you can imagine what happened.  [#magnifiedby1,000]

And if I'm at all stressed, everything is magnified once again by 2,567.

Keep all of those factors in mind whilst I tell you:

I had a nervous breakdown of sorts yesterday.

I was tired, emotional, sick to my stomach, and feeling the beginning symptoms of a cold.  Then I found out that we wouldn't be able to move into our apartment until August 5th.  [Oh yeah, you know.  The same August 5th as our wedding day.]  That was the straw that broke the camel's back.  [I was tempted to throw in something about a needle and a haystack - e.g., that was the needle from the haystack that broke the camel's back - but I'm pretty sure that's a completely different metaphor.]  That opened the floodgates which I have had trouble closing ever since.

I felt totally overwhelmed, which I am completely positive came across through our cell phones.  Tim tried to calm me down, reassuring me that even if we didn't know how things were going to work out, that they would work out.

Later that day, Tim came over to my house to pick me up so we could buy some ingredients for dinner.  He explained to me that he had called his family and [with all of their help] figured out a way to make our apartment/moving situation work.  [Did I mention that we'll be living in a month-to-month apartment while we continue looking for a house?  Oh.  Well.  We will.]  Then he started telling me about a country song he heard on the radio about how eventually you're going to miss the situation you're in now.  I knew immediately which song he was referring to.

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

As I thought about the familiar lyrics, I remembered how willing Tim's family had been to help us move.  I remembered the bridal shower my sweet coworkers had thrown earlier that day and how generous every one had been.  I remembered my bachelorette party and all of my sweet friends there.  I remembered how much work my family and friends are doing to prepare for our wedding.  I remembered Tim and his constant willingness to do whatever he can to make sure I'm not stressed.

And suddenly I felt very selfish.

Then I thought, "You probably really are going to miss all of this."

It was one of those proverbial slap-in-the-face moments.

That realization hasn't fixed everything.  I still feel totally overwhelmed.  I still feel emotional.  I still feel tired.  And I still feel a little sick.

But I am trying to enjoy the moment.  And I'm trying to be less selfish.

Because you know what?  These are some good times and I really am gonna miss this.

And heck, I get to marry my best friend in 8 days.

I am so very blessed.


katielizabethawkes said...

slushie. asap. tonite?

shirley elizabeth said...

You guys should look for houses in our ward boundaries! Seriously, it's the best ward of ever ever. No one ever wants to leave. 12th Ward. Val Vista Stake. Doooo it.

Also, would you and Tim be our friends? We like cool people. And game nights. And apparently when you're married you can only have married friends. It's a rule.

(umm, my verification word is "peeless")

Gentri said...

That's been my biggest goal lately- enjoy the moment. It's so true. Even when you think times are tough, there could and probably will be worse times. So I am trying to just be grateful- because I am very blessed. :) thank you so much for the reminder!!!

Ashley Sloan said...

Oh everything will fall into place even when you are so stressed out and not sure how it will all work! Enjoy it!!!! (Something I always am trying to work on! :) Have a good weekend girl!

Ashley Sloan

Ashley Michelle said...

I totally heard that song on the radio the other day and it gave me a major wake-up call! Life is flying by sooo fast and I want to make sure that I enjoy it! Thanks for reminding me. You have a great blog :)

Cait and TJ Canann said...

So I had no idea what song you were quoting. Yeah, I was shocked too. But then again, I don't really listen to country music. My husband, however, had heard of it and *apparently* had tried to get me to listen to it about a "thousand times". Yeah, still had no idea. Just thought you'd want to know.

karajean said...

I have to say-- I don't really miss being engaged at all! hahaha it was an exciting time, but SO DANG stressful. Marriage is so much better, Trust me. Also, read the comment from shirley elizabeth.. are you close to the val vista stake? I was in that stake for years... up until I got married!