Which is why Tim and I bought a fake tree last night.
Ok, here's the story.
Tim and I had been planning for weeks to buy a real Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving. We'd imagined where we'd put it and how it would smell and how it would look with all the twinkling lights on it.
Last night, we finally got the chance to go get one. As we were on our way out the door, our neighbor casually asked us what we were up to.
"Oh, we're just gonna go get a Christmas tree!"
"A fake one or a real one?"
"A real one."
"Oh yeah, we got real ones up until this year, too. Then last year, we were decorating our tree and a Brown Recluse spider bit me. I waited a couple of days to go to the hospital, and by the time I did, they said if I'd waited any longer, they would have had to amputate my leg. But I only had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days."
I almost peed my pants.
My eyes were probably as wide as baseballs.
After we got in our car, Tim and I started squealing at each other. [No manly noises for Tim where spiders are concerned.]
"Uhh...maybe we should get a fake tree."
"Yeah that sounds like a good idea."
Which is how we ended up with a fake tree from Walmart.
Don't worry, it looks enchanting, too.
And I'm sure the pine air fresheners we're gonna buy will smell just like a real tree and I won't even notice the difference.
[Or so I tell myself.]