camping summer 2015

At the end of June, we went camping.

We'd wanted to go camping anyway, but Tim's health situation made it feel even more important.  We just needed to get away for a couple of days.

Originally, we were planning to go at a campground that's like 10 minutes from our house, but by the time we got there, it was already full.  We decided Logan Canyon was probably our next best bet.  It was a good thing we got there as early as we did, because they were filling up fast, too!

For Tim's birthday, my aunt got him a tent.  Sort of.  She gave him money to get whatever he wanted, and that was what he wanted - a new tent, since our old one had been torn on one of our other, crazy-windy camping trips.  His new one is a pop-up tent, so it probably took us five minutes to set up.  Total.  It was pretty great.

We had hot dogs and canned chili for dinner.  Ellie didn't care at all about the chili, but the hot dogs were her personal heaven.

Ellie was scared of ALL THE BUGS.  Even the flies.  I wish I were kidding.  She would scream each and every time one landed on, or even near, her.  It was hilarious.

We almost walked into a rattlesnake in our campground, so as you can imagine, we were a little paranoid whilst hiking the next day.  We'd been forewarned by the one in our campground by its infamous rattle, but we didn't know if we'd get so lucky out hiking around.

After our hike, we went boating in a little reservoir.

Let me just say that our kayak is much easier to paddle than our inflatable raft. :)  But it was still so fun!  I think feeding the ducks was Ellie's favorite part of the entire trip!

It was a much-needed camping trip.  It was one of the only times Tim felt somewhat normal the entire summer, so I am sorry to say it was the only one we took!  It made me wish we could go every weekend.  (Or every day.)

We love camping!

tim's 28th birthday and our modern medicine miracle

Tim's birthday marks the beginning of a rough few months for our family.  Unbeknownst to me, the entire day was an anxiety-filled, depressing time for Tim.  For reasons that were completely unknown to him.  I didn't find out until much later in the day, and even then, neither of us had any idea how much this would affect our lives for the next few months.

I spent the entire day totally unaware and trying to make this an amazing day for Tim.  Which, of course, for Tim, always involves lots and lots of food.  For lunch, he got off work and we went to the Pizza Hut buffet.  An odd choice, you might think, but in a town with very few choices, this was Tim's favorite option.

We had lots of pizza.  With a few pieces of lettuce (that we pretended were a salad) thrown in on the side.

After Tim got off work, we immediately drove down to Tucano's Brazilian Steakhouse in Salt Lake City.  It's a place that would normally be heaven for Tim, since 90% of the food consists of all-you-can-eat meat.  We left in a meat-coma to walk around the outdoor mall for a few minutes.  In fact, we even got this baby bump picture (which may have been helped along by the gargantuan proportions of meat I'd just consumed).

It wasn't until the drive home that Tim expressed to me how distressed he'd been feeling the entire day.  No, he couldn't think of a reason.  No, nothing was wrong.  No, he had no idea why he was feeling that way.

That night, he had the first of many panic attacks.

If you know Tim at all, the idea of him having a panic attack seems absurd.  He is the most laid-back, calm, even-keel person I know.  This was weird.  It was really, really weird.

The next day, he woke up and still felt panicky.  He got a blessing and felt moderately better.  We tried to go see Jurassic World together, which in retrospect, was just an all-around fail.  I'd just run out of my nausea meds and felt terrible, and it turns out, watching a movie about dinosaurs is a bad idea when you've just been having panic attacks.  But if you'd asked me that day, I would have guessed that he'd probably never have another panic attack - ever again.

We got to the movie 10 minutes late and left 10 minutes later.

(Because this saga would be hard to explain over multiple posts, I'm going to try to condense it into this one.)

Tim's mental health went downhill really fast.  So fast, in fact, that our doctor ordered an MRI because he thought it might be a brain tumor.  He was anxious all the time.  He didn't have any interest in things he used to have interest in.  He had panic attacks almost daily.  He had odd physical sensations that he couldn't explain.  He said he felt like he was going crazy.

As the wife of a man who is happy 99.9% of the time (no, I'm not kidding) and who had basically never experienced anxiety a day in his life, this was concerning.  Actually, to call it "concerning" is the understatement of the year.  Of the decade.  Of the century.  I was beside myself with worry, and I had no idea how to help him.

This lasted several weeks.  Our doctor prescribed some medication, but we knew that would take at least a couple of weeks to kick in.  He could barely eat.  Barely sleep.  Barely make it to work (and that was on the good days).  I'm not exaggerating when I say that I considered that we might have to sell our house, move in with our parents, and have me get a job instead.  And what really scared me was that I thought I might have to make that decision by myself.

Our GP told us that it would take 6-8 weeks to get into a psychiatrist, so we immediately started looking.  We thought to contact my cousin's husband, who is a counselor, about which psychiatrist to see.  It just so happened that his brother is a psychiatrist and works at his same practice - and as a bonus blessing, they would get us in in about three weeks - a huge difference from six to eight.

On one particularly awful night, our bishop came over to give Tim a blessing.  He arranged for Tim to see a counselor the next day, which in hindsight was an amazing blessing - almost entirely because we learned that the dosage of medicine our GP had put Tim on needed to be doubled - or it wouldn't have any effect.

We still had a couple of weeks to wait until we got into the psychiatrist, but little by little, day by day, I started to notice a difference.  He still wasn't eating, and needed medication to help him sleep, but slowly I noticed that his panic attacks were decreasing.  There were even moments, however fleeting, when he seemed to experience what could almost be called happiness.

By the time we finally got in to the psychiatrist, I would say he was about 40% better.  He still had a long way to go, but the doc felt that was still a huge improvement since he hadn't been on the medication even close to a full eight weeks yet.  Tim was diagnosed as having a Major Depressive Episode, with anxious symptoms.  We were both surprised, since both of us felt that the anxiety was the major symptom, but the more the psychiatrist explained it to us, the more it made sense.

We were told that his outlook was really good, and that he probably wouldn't need to be on the medication for very long.  (Though, truthfully, neither of us were concerned about how long he'd be on it.  It was making a difference, and that's all we cared about.)  We were also warned that this could happen again at some point in his life, totally unexpectedly yet again, but that at least we would know what was happening.  That this had nothing to do with anything Tim had or hadn't been doing, or how strong he was - but that for some reason his brain had experienced a glitch.  It was an incredible blessing for both of us to get some answers about exactly what had been happening.

Over the next few weeks, a miracle occured.

I got my husband back.

Happiness crept back into our lives, and Tim's laugh became the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard.

I know that some might not consider this a miracle, but this experience has absolutely confirmed to my soul that modern medicine is just that.  A miracle.  A gift from God.

I know that God answers prayers.  Even, and maybe especially, the ones we aren't sure He is hearing.  He is there, and He is listening.  Always.

“Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.”

-Jeffrey R. Holland

memorial day 2015

The weekend after my family left Utah was Memorial weekend.  Thus, on that Monday, we decided to do something special as a family: go to the Living Planet Aquarium in Draper.

It was such a fun experience!  It's not just an aquarium, either - it also has some fun jungle-y areas to walk through.  Most of it was over Ellie's head, but she enjoyed herself as much as a two-year-old can.

I didn't think she particularly enjoyed touching the sting rays in the water, but it's something she still brings up every once in a while, so it must have had some impact on her!

Trying to get a picture with Ellie, Awkward Try #1:

Trying to get a picture with Ellie, Awkward Try #2:

After the aquarium, we ate dinner at Tony Caputo's in Salt Lake City.  It was an amazing day with my beautiful family!

sparks fam visits 2015

My family visited at the end of May, and somehow I managed to take a grand total of two pictures.  We went out to eat (a couple of times), went on a day trip, and did all manner of fun things, and I have two pictures to show for it.

How?  HOW?

Alas, it was kind of a historic trip in my family, since, firstly, it was the first time my brother Eric had been up to Utah to visit us.  (My dad and brother, Jeff, came, too, but they'd already been here.  So.  Not historic.)  And secondly, it was the first time my aunt Ginny, grandma Joyce, and uncle Paul had been up to Utah to visit us...or anybody else in Utah for that matter...for about 15 years.  Which is kind of a big deal, since my grandma grew up here and has relatives up the wazoo living in the area.

It was kind of a special trip for my family.

(And I only have two pictures.)  (But I'm not bitter.)

We managed to squish everyone into our house for a few days, and somehow I always feel like being squished in with everyone only enhances the experience.  It's magical to spend so much time with family, am I right?

We ate out at Maddox...twice...and went on a short shopping trip to two of my favorite places to buy candy: Idle Isle (yummy gourmet candy) and Smith & Edwards (yummy penny candy).  One of the days, we also made a day trip to Cache Valley.  The first stop was to a yummy donut (er...spudnut) shop.

They're partially made with potatoes...or something.  I think.  But regardless, they were really good donuts.  Like maybe the best we've had in Utah.

Then we drove over to Clarkston, which is where my grandma grew up.  We visited the cemetery, and I think we're related to like 82.3% of the people buried there.  Or something like that.  I'm not sure.  But it's a lot.

It's a beautiful place.

It was amazing to be able to have those experiences with my family.  Hopefully it was just the first of many future experiences!

Thanks for coming, guys.  You made Utah 2000% better just by being here.

yuma trip 2015

Remember how Tim and I first met when we both lived in Yuma, AZ?

Well, Tim's parents still live down there, and I am ashamed to say that before this last May, it had been 2.5 years since we'd been down there to visit.  We went there for Christmas in 2012, right after we'd learned we'd be moving to Utah in two short weeks.  And after that?  We saw Tim's parents, of course, but never down in Yuma.

I'd been telling Tim for months that we just needed to plan a trip down there.  We knew we wanted to save up his time off in case we had a baby, and we kept saying we needed to take time off to get Tim's tonsils out, but I was afraid that those things would mean we'd never get down there.  Ever.  So we just did it.

Thankfully, in May, the temperatures were still in the 80s and 90s, and if we're being honest, we all know that those are some of my favorite temperatures anyway.  It was perfect.  We even got to go swimming with Tim's cousin and his family one day!  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Like I said in our last post, we told Tim's family we were pregnant again within minutes of arriving, and they were all thrilled for us.  After that, I've lost track of a lot of the timing of our trip down there, but I do know that Ellie spent a lot - and I do mean a lot - of time cuddling with her grandma and grandpa.  And as an added bonus, she loved spending time with her aunt and uncle and cousins, too.

On one of the days, we drove over to the house where I lived from ages six to twelve.  (Let's be honest, it was a lot cuter when we lived there.  We even had an actual lawn.)  Pretty cool to think that Tim and I spent six years just down the street from each other as kids!

We also went to one of my dad's favorite Mexican food places - Pancho's Cocina.  He still swears they had the best carne asada burritos he's ever had.

Then we drove over to AWC, where my dad started off his career as a professor.  His office was in this building the entire six years we lived there.  (Now they've turned it into something completely different.)  My memories of Pancho's Cocina and AWC center around the days when my dad would get me out of school because I was feeling "sick," and I would spend my days eating Mexican food out at the college with him.

Then we drove over to one of Tim's favorite Mexican food places, Las Palapas, to have lunch with Tim's parents.  (It was just as good as he remembered!)

We also spent some time wandering around at the Cal Ranch Store.  We were hoping to find some baby chicks to show Ellie, but they had just sold the last of them.

But don't worry, we found plenty to entertain ourselves.

Melissa and Burton came over pretty much every day to hang out with us.  Burton and Ellie loved playing in the sprinklers.  (But Burton was a lot braver than Ellie was!)

I was so grateful she was so much nicer to him than when they visited us in January!  It made me feel better about having another baby in November.

They each took turns sitting on the sprinkler!

And pulling it around the yard...

How unfair is it that Melissa was like six months pregnant in this picture and I was like three months...and yet we look exactly the same in this picture?!

We also spent a day at the Camel Farm!  It was a highlight for Tim and me, since we both had fond childhood memories there, but Ellie could have cared less.  She spent pretty much the entire time digging in the dirt.

Tim and I were happy, though.

Ok, ok we admit it.  Our trip basically rotated around finding really good Mexican food.  Here's another place we tried (and loved).

We spent a lot of time outside.  (Can you tell I was really sick of the rain and the cold at this point?)

Apparently I didn't take any pictures of it (story of my life), but one night, we also went to see the new Avenger's movie with Tim's brother, Billy, while Tim's parents watched Ellie for us.  It was so fun, and it made me wish we could do stuff with Tim's brothers and sisters more often.

On the last morning we were there, Tim, Tim's dad, and I went shooting.

Just call me Annie Oakley!

Both Tim and I were wishing we could go shooting with Wayne all the time!

And then came my favorite taco place.  Oh my, these were the best shredded beef tacos I've ever had.  I'm not saying that lightly, either - I take my shredded beef very seriously.  Even Tim was impressed, and he's usually more of a carne asada guy.

Right before we left Yuma, we met up with one of my childhood best friends, her mom, and her baby at a frozen yogurt shop.  Ashley lived just a few houses down on my street, and we literally spent almost every day together.  Her mom is basically one of the sweetest people on the planet, and it was so fun to meet her cute baby!

After Yuma, we drove over to Casa Grande, where Tim's sister, Brigette, and her family live. We loved seeing them again - it had seriously been WAY too long - and we loved seeing their beautiful new home.  Tim and I were pining away over the beautiful saguaros all over the place.  Ellie, of course, couldn't get enough of all of her cousins.  She especially loved Brig's oldest son, Jack!

For some dang reason, I forgot to take any pictures while we were there, but here's one Brigette took of us (ha!):

The next day, Tim and I decided that we'd drive the 45 minutes into Chandler and go to two of our favorite places while we were there: Oregano's (the best Italian food) and Bahama Bucks (incredible shaved ice and the location of our first date).  We were in heaven!

Then we drove over to Jeanie's house in Buckeye to have a big family dinner with Tim's parents, Jeanie's fam, Brigette's fam, Angie's fam, and Sarah's fam.  It was so great to see everyone!  (Why, oh why didn't I take any pictures?!)

The next morning, we drove into Mesa to have breakfast before we left with some of Tim's best friends from high school.  The cool part is that I remember Ally from when I lived in Yuma, too.  Tim, Ally, and I were all in the same family ward.  She is one of the nicest people you'll meet.  (And I stole all these pictures from her!)

We had such a fun time seeing them again, and I loved seeing Tim reminisce with all of them!

It was an amazing trip, and we are already wishing we could be back again!  (Now we just need to convince Tim's family to let us move in with them...)