Saturday, March 12, 2011

nobody knows

The other night, Tim and I went on a date to Canteen [Modern Tequila Bar]. It was really great [minus the tequila and the bar part. I felt great about the modern part].

At one point, Tim left to go to the bathroom. I didn't feel awkward at all sitting there by myself until my coworkers walked up. Then I said, "Oh hey...I'm not sitting here by myself." And suddenly I felt very awkward. Then one of my coworkers patted me on the back and said, "Oh it's ok, honey."


When Tim got back from the bathroom and I told him about it, he said, "Why did you say anything at all about it?" Nobody knows, friends.

Nobody knows.

Friday, March 11, 2011

mi madre

Today is the birthday of the best mama to ever walk the face of this earth.

That's right.

It's MY mama's birthday. [Not yo mama's...hahaha]

Isn't she lovely?

I don't know if I can even begin to explain how wonderful this woman is. But I'm gonna try. I'm gonna highlight few of her main roles each day, including: wife, mother, daughter, friend, and program manager.

My parents are so cute. It's obvious how much they love each other even after 25 years of marriage. And it always amazes me how much they serve each other. My mom cooks for my dad, irons his clothes, and does a so many other little things to let him know how much she loves him. If I had to make a guess, I'd say my mom's love language is service. And if that's true, my mom says "I love you" a million times a day.

I honestly feel like I could go on for days on this one. I won't. But I could.

When we were little, my mom stayed at home with us, and we always had so much fun. She took us to the beach, to the Wild Animal Park, to the Zoo, and to some pretty awesome parks with playgrounds and pirate ships. She planned the BEST birthday parties. She made me cute clothes. She made creative foods, like green eggs and ham and toast with an egg in the middle. She decorated our rooms and sanded down dressers and repainted them if we wanted another color. She learned how to fix things that broke in our house by being resourceful and asking lots of questions. She took us to the doctor whenever we were sick and pampered us with attention and gatorade and chicken noodle soup.

Today, my mom helps me with financial things, like FAFSA and taxes and insurance. [Whoever invented FAFSA anyway???] She makes me cute clothes. She takes me shopping. She randomly gives me little gifts all the time because she was out shopping and saw something that made her think of me. She fixes things in the house that have broken down. She encourages my brothers and me to go the doctor when we are sick. She makes sure we are taking our medicines. She runs all the necessary errands for her household. She sets a good example of exercise and healthy eating.

If I had to give my mom one title, it would be "Advocate." She is the advocate for our best interests. And she will do anything and everything to help us achieve those.

Just when you think she can't get any more amazing.

My grandpa lives in the town where my parents live. And with his failing health, my mom spends hours and hours and hours taking care of him - whether it's actually being with him or making phone calls on his behalf or taking care of his money. She did the same thing for my grandma right up until she passed away. Things haven't always been perfect with that relationship, but my mom gives her all to it anyway. She never gives up. What an amazing example of dedication.

I feel like this one applies to me, too. Because my mom is one of my best friends. But she has lots of other friends, too. And if there's one thing I know about my mom, it's that if you need anything - anything - and it's within her power to get it for you, she will do everything she can to make it happen. And just as she makes clothes for me, she makes jewelry for all her friends - all the time. Cool jewelry. Not lame jewelry.

This is a new one. For the years or so, my mom was a school nurse. And just recently she decided to try her hand at something new. So she is a program manager for the county health system. She is such.a.hard.worker. If you give her a task, consider it done. She will find a way to make it happen. My mom is the epitome of dependable. And capable. And one million other positive adjectives.

So if you add all these roles together, my mom pretty much has multiple full time jobs. And she does them all fabulously. I look up to her more than any other woman in my life. I feel so incredibly lucky every day to have been raised by such a woman.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

the best part

A little over a week ago, my grandma passed away.

It wasn't really a surprise - we knew she had cancer and we knew it was fast growing. But the last time I saw her, she was so chipper, so on top of things, so...normal. So even though I heard she was doing badly and that it was only a matter of time, I heard it from a distance. I wasn't there to witness it. So for me, it was still a surprise.

The stories surrounding her death are so sweet. I wasn't there for them, but hearing about them makes me cry a little.

About a week before she passed away, she couldn't walk at all. Then she couldn't talk. Or at least not very well. A few mumbled words here and there. So it was a surprise for the caregivers when they found that somehow she had crawled out of her bed and over into my grandpa's, where she cuddled with him for several minutes without anyone knowing.

The night before she died, my dad gave her a priesthood blessing. My grandpa has a very short memory these days, so just a few short minutes later, he forgot that she had already been given a priesthood blessing. They found him in his wheelchair in my grandma's room attempting to give her another blessing but not quite able to reach her head. I'm sure it counted anyway.

Later that same night, my grandpa held my grandma's arm and said, "See you on the other side, Renie." She passed away early the next morning.

I went up to visit the day that she died. I spent some time looking through an old journal my grandma had kept. It was full of letters and other momentos, and I ran across an old letter from my grandpa. At the very end, it said, "I loved you then and I love you even more now. All my love, Wells."

The best part about their love story is that it doesn't have to end. I know they'll see each other again. And that gives me more comfort than anything.

My heart aches for her in a way that I didn't know it could or would. I'm gonna miss the most creative, most organized, most artistic, most generous grandma anyone could ever have.

See you on the other side, Grandma.

Friday, March 4, 2011

special vibes

I realized today that I get disproportionate amounts of things for free.

I mean, at least I think I do. Maybe this happens to all of y'all. I don't know.

But I do know that I get things for free a lot of the time, at a lot of places I go.

Don't spend precious time wondering why this happens to me, because I've figured it out.

I'm pretty sure it's because I send out a vibe that says something like "Pathetic." Or "Poor." Or both.

Who knew my body could send out signals like that? I mean, I'm not complaining. Hopefully my body keeps it up even when I'm rich someday [or at least...richer than I am now].

In other news, Jack-in-the-Box put this sticker on my burger today:

I'm not sure if they were referring to me or the burger.