Tuesday, April 12, 2011

the simple things

People say you are what you eat.

Or is it, "you are what you read?"

Either way, it's probably true.

So what does it say about me that I LOVE [yeah I'm going straight for the L word] tv dinners?

This one to be exact:


And maybe even this one, if I'm honest with myself:


I am also obsessed with these chicken nuggets:


And really all forms of chicken nuggets.

Some of you are probably gagging right now, but I say, don't knock it till you try it. And if you have tried them, you still can't judge me. [Ok maybe a little.]

Yeah I like nicer, expensiver [just pretend], and fancier food sometimes, too.

But sometimes...

It's the simple things in life.

p.s. The link to the "Cheesy Smothered Meat Patty" said absolutely horrible things about it, which made me giggle and possibly want it even more.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

tender mercies

So maybe the last blog was a little too personal and soul-baring. I don't know. I never know with such things. I like reading stuff like that about other people, but I don't even share stuff like that in person with most people. I usually just keep things to myself. But. Who knows. Maybe it will be a new trend. Soul-baring through blogging.

Or maybe I'll just go back to writing about silly things. I guess we'll see where my whims take me.

But I did feel the need to share something with regards to yesterday's blog. I posted it on blogger and then I posted a link to it on Facebook (with some sort of reference to how I sounded super emo), and then I went to check my email. There was one new email, and as I opened it, my eyes filled with tears. An acceptance letter to the Master of Counseling program.

Now I still don't know a lot of things about where my life is going. There are still a lot of unknowns and I still feel a lot of confusion about things. But yesterday Heavenly Father gave me one very big hint that He is thinking about me. That He loves me. Would that still be true if I hadn't gotten that email? Certainly. He gives me evidence all the time of that. But yesterday I felt overwhelmed by His love.

Not to mention the fact that in the past few days I've received numerous phone calls and emails from people I don't talk to on a regular basis who (I believe) felt impressed to share things with me about their situations that are or were so similar to what I am going through. And they didn't even know.

Heavenly Father does love us, and He is watching out for us.

Friday, April 8, 2011

"things will work out"

Are you ready for some news?

I graduate from college...

*drumroll please*

May 13th, 2011!

I would classify this as "good" news, but that might be slightly more optimistic than I am feeling at the moment.

The truth is...I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. And it scares.me.to.death.

I applied to grad school for the fall semester, but I already know for sure that I didn't get in to one program, and the other program put me on a list of alternates in case someone drops out.

Not the best self-esteem boost I've ever had in my life.

The overwhelming part? I feel like this not-knowing is a theme for my life right now. There are so many decisions to be made and so many unknowns. And sometimes I just feel like I want to crawl under a table and cry or go back in time and be seven years old again so I don't have to make life-changing, life-altering decisions.

Like I do now.

I feel like my whole body is just wracked with confusion sometimes. Like every single cell in my body is just as confused as my brain and my heart are.

But as confused as I am...

I know that I have a very loving Heavenly Father who cares about His very confused daughter. And I know that He won't let me make horrible decisions because He knows that I'm trying to do the right thing and make the right decisions. That I want to do His will and make my life turn out as wonderfully as He envisions it to be.

Really that's what all this not-knowing comes down to. Having faith in Him. Because I feel like that's what I'm surviving on these days. I try to do all I can, but at the end of the day, it just isn't enough. I need Him to make up the difference. And He will. He always has in the past, and He always will.

There are so many times when I've looked back on my life and been so grateful that it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to at the time. I'm sure it will be that way five, ten, fifty years down the road when I look back at this moment. I'll be grateful that Heavenly Father was in control and not me. Because unlike me, He can see the end from the beginning, whereas I see things only from my very limited perspective.

As said by a man with more faith than I could ever hope to have:

"Things will work out." -President Gordon B. Hinckley

And so they will.

p.s. As I was typing the title of this blog, I accidentally typed "things will 'wok' out." And that made me giggle and feel infinitely better. Tender mercies, kids.