just so you don't have to ask...

...I'm still pregnant.

She's still in there.  Just chillin'.  In fact, I don't think she's making any plans to vacate in the very near future.  But that's ok.  We'll enjoy the remaining days of our parasitic relationship together in relative peace and quiet.  [Though when we spoke in church on Sunday, and I said that I had hoped to go into labor to avoid speaking, I was only half joking.]

But in related news, my fingers are now officially too swollen [read: chubby] to wear my engagement and wedding rings.

Suffering through the textbook withdrawal symptoms has not been an easy task, but I have found a way to relieve them somewhat.  Behold:

My newly beloved $10 ring from Target.  If you weren't looking very closely, you might assume that Tim and I recently came into a very large sum of money.  And by not very closely, I mean approximately 0.24 seconds.  But hey, it's those first impressions that count, right?

And in other related news, we have made great strides where Ellie's nursery is concerned:

For those of you concerned that I am not following the current AAP guidelines, fear no more!  Those bumpers will be taken out as soon as she starts sleeping in her crib.  But in the meantime, they look cute, and I got them for free as a hand-me-down.

See that board with her name on it?  That little beauty is all Tim's doing.  [Except for the burlap ribbon.  That may or may not have been my doing.]  We had some leftover wood from another project, and he decided he'd like to make something for his little girl.  I was duly impressed.  At least our children have some chance of craftiness.

And those knobs?  Those were also Tim's doing.  Well, ok, if you want to get technical, they were my idea, but Tim did paint them for me.  I would have painted them myself [really, I would have], but the doctor advised against it.  It actually took a lot for me not to hover over him to check their second-by-second progress, but I restrained myself and left to another room.

And in other other related news, Tim had the day off yesterday!  Ok so maybe that isn't actually related in any way, shape, or form.  It may have had more to do with the fact that he worked an excessive amount of hours last week for an event in Provo [which somehow I ended up working, too].  But it was an amazing day off, filled with doughnuts, hot chocolate, roast, baked potatoes, cauliflower, and ice cream.  And maybe some cookies, too.

Don't worry, we didn't actually eat all day.  [Though it may have been a consideration.]  The truth was that in between all of that eating, we got a lot done, too.  Including, but not limited to, our trip to the DMV so we could switch out our AZ plates for UT plates.  Truthfully, this particular errand makes me feel like a traitor, but my mom assures me that since I was born in Utah, this isn't actually the case.  I haven't decided if I believe her yet.

And now that I've turned yet another blog post into a [mostly non-fiction] novel, I'll graciously allow you to finish out the remainder of your day.

Any guesses on baby girl's real due date?

the good news and the bad news

Well, the good news is...I'm still pregnant.

The bad news is...I'm still pregnant.

Just kidding.  This really is mostly good news.  I'm only 37 weeks and 4 days along, so baby girl still has some time to cook.  And the chubbier the better, as far as I'm concerned.

At our last doctors appointment, he told us that she was measuring approximately 6 pounds, 3 ounces, which he said is a couple of weeks behind the "average," but he was quick to reassure me that most moms don't mind a smaller baby.  He's right.  I don't.  [But I'm still hoping for some chubby cheeks.]

For some of you this next part might be getting into the TMI territory, so if you fall into that category, go ahead and scroll down to take a look at some of those pictures down there.  I won't be offended, I assure you.  Go ahead.  Take a peek.

But for the rest of you brave souls, the truth of the matter is that I really can't feel most of the things that most moms say happen to their bodies as they prepare for labor.  If my body is experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions, I can't feel it.  If my belly has "dropped," I don't know it.  If I'm supposed to be feeling increased pressure, well, I can't feel that either.  Not yet anyway.  From my readings about the end of pregnancy, this could mean one of three things [in order of decreasing likelihood]:

1. My body won't be ready to deliver until my due date.  At least.
2. My body could be ready to deliver within the next 24 hours.
3. There is a slight possibility that I could be pregnant forever.

Ok so maybe that last one isn't really a possibility at all.  But sometimes, in moments of self-doubt when I read all about the signs of impending labor and am not experiencing any of them, it is a serious consideration of mine.  And as for the other two things, all of my readings about labor essentially tell me that even though there are technically "averages," it really is incredibly different for every individual.  Which to me means that they really have no idea how and when things will happen.  They can make educated guesses, but in the end, they're in the same boat as I am.  Waiting.

I am just so anxious to meet our little girl, even though I know that when she comes, our lives will be filled with sleepless nights and probably a fair amount of crying from me.  [See: sleepless nights.]  She has become such an important part of my life already, and I love her.  I love her even though I don't know who she'll be or what she'll look like.  I love her because I know that no matter what, she is ours.  Our little girl.  The little girl that we would already do anything for.

Ok for those of you who have scrolled down to avoid more talk of labor and pregnancy and mushiness, you can probably tune back in now.  But I make no guarantees.

This last weekend, we went on another double date with my in-laws, Jeremy and Ali.  First we went to the new Brigham City temple.

Isn't it gorgeous?  Seriously.  I feel so lucky that this beautiful edifice is 15 minutes away from my house.  The inside is even better.  Whenever I go inside one of these houses of the Lord, I feel an almost tangible peace.  This last Saturday was no different.

Timothy and me.

And the lovely Jeremy and Ali.

Afterwards, we all went to El Toro Viejo.  This was a result of mine and Tim's quest to find truly authentic Mexican food in Utah.  A feat easier said than done.  We have already been to more Mexican restaurants up here than I'd care to admit, always justified by the fact that "we won't be able to go out as much once the baby comes."  Which, while true, is also an expensive justification.

And, in case you were wondering, El Toro Viejo was probably the closest we've come.  We were duly impressed.  And Jeremy and Ali always make for amazing company.

We also got to drive to Salt Lake City on Sunday evening and have dinner with a few of my cousins.  It was so fun.  They all grew up on the east coast, and even when they moved closer to attend BYU, we didn't get to see them all that often.  Now they're one hour away!  Which basically means that there is at least one plus in having moved to Utah.

p.s.  Thank you for all of your sweet comments on my last couple of posts.  First of all, to all you moms for having given me advice about newborn clothing.  It was extremely helpful, and I think we are now as prepared as we're going to be in that department.  And secondly, thanks for all of your sweet comments on my last post, about my meltdown in our driveway.  There really are "good things to come." :)

the low point

Crying because I couldn't get the truck out of the icy, steep driveway was a low point.

No, no.  I take that back.

Having our car break down - right after we just got the truck fixed - and having Tim stranded in the cold was the low point.

Being a grown-up is hard.  And expensive.  And being a grown-up in Utah in the winter is hard, and expensive, and cold.

Even after Tim called me to tell me that our car had just broken down on his way home from work, I just laughed a little bit inside.  Like, Oh, of course, that would happen right now.  And when I had to leave the beautiful dinner I'd just made in the oven to go pick him up, I just smiled and shook my head.  But when I tried multiple times to get the truck out of the driveway and thought it was going to fishtail backwards into a snowbank...well, that was the point when I lost it.

But you know what?  When Tim finally got home three hours later, his perpetually optimistic attitude reminded me how much we'd actually been blessed through all of this.  Like the fact that we had just gotten the truck fixed so we could at least have one working car.  Or the fact that even though finances are tight, we are blessed enough to be able to handle this.  Or the fact that my aunt got us AAA for Christmas so we could have the car towed to the mechanic.  Or the fact that some people from our church [that we barely know] were willing - and even eager - to give Tim a ride home since I couldn't.

And then that ever-smiling husband of mine showed me this video - that I'd seen before, mind you - and I cried the entire way through it.

I know that comparatively speaking, this particular trial might seem kind of trivial.  And maybe it was.  Maybe part of the problem was my pregnancy hormones.  But last night - to me - it seemed like a big deal.  And even if it was trivial and at least partially the result of pregnancy hormones, after we watched that video, I really felt like if it was a big deal to me, then it was a big deal to God.  And that He cared enough to help us.

And even if He doesn't always take away the trials, He provides a way for us to get through them.  Always.

Just like He did for us last night, and just as He always will.

getting ready

It's an exciting time around these parts.

Even doing laundry has never been less of a chore.  Yesterday, I washed a bunch of baby Ellie's clothes and blankets and marveled yet again at how tiny everything looks.  And then I happily put everything in its respective place in her ever-improving room.

But.  All you moms out there.  I need your advice.  I have been reading all kinds of articles online, and none of them really help.

How many newborn outfits do I need?  How many onesies, sleepers, etc?

These might seem like trivial questions, but I really just don't know.  Especially with all this cold weather we've been experiencing.  Help a girl out.  Pretend that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and then answer the questions.  It's not much of a stretch, I assure you.

Do you guys want to see another ultrasound picture?  I know we've talked about how creepy they make our precious babies look sometimes, but this one makes me really happy.  In fact, I wish it wasn't a picture of a picture so you could really see it.  But, alas.

Do you see those little cheeks?  And those little eyelashes?  Be still my heart.  This one was taken right before 35 weeks, so she should be even chubbier now.  One can only hope.  If she's anything like I was as a baby, she'll have very chubby cheeks [I didn't get the nickname "Pillow Cheeks" for nothing] and probably be very bald for awhile.  And Tim thinks it was the same for him, so I'd say her chances are high.

And this is a picture of me a couple of days after my 36 weeks mark:

My doctor told us last Thursday that I'm far enough along that if I went into labor, they wouldn't try to stop it.  My new doctor has been so great!  I was a little nervous about finding a brand new doctor in a brand new state, but some of Tim's coworkers recommended this one, and he is so nice.  I've already heard lots of great things about him, some from complete strangers.  [I guess that's what you get when you live in a small town.]  And when we went to the hospital to pre-register, they asked if we wanted an impromptu tour of the Labor and Delivery Unit, since their one and only patient had just been discharged.  [Again, small town.]  We readily agreed, and all of the nurses were so friendly.  I think this is going to work out great.

Let me leave you with a picture of Tim and me in front of the Logan temple:

Since I was born in Logan, and since some of my ancestors helped to build this temple, it has always had a special place in my heart.  It was amazing to go on a double date there with my in-laws Jeremy and Ali last weekend.  My heart was filled with its rich history and beautiful spirit.

p.s.  Don't forget to answer my questions!
p.p.s.  Kthxloveyoubye.

adventures in the land of the north

For some reason after our last baby shopping experience, Tim and I came home inspired to cook.  Who knows how these things happen.

The funny part?  In our relationship, I am the cook and Tim is the baker.  This isn't always the case, but if we're talking majority here, that's usually how things end up.

I decided I was going to get a roast ready for our Sunday dinner [and in the process make some yummy sausage-rice casserole for our dinner that night]:

Tim decided to make cinnamon swirl bread...

...and homemade ice cream.

Which were both out of this world.  [In fact, we loved the cinnamon bread so much that he made another loaf last night.]  [Which is mostly gone now.]  [Shhh.]

Remember our old ice cream making adventures?  Well, this time was a little different since we actually had an ice-cream maker this time.  [Other than our muscular arms and superior skipping ability, that is.]  This meant two things.  The first was that we got to make a lot more this time.  And the second was that we got to use snow instead of ice.  [The second part might actually have more to do with where we live now than the fact that we now have an ice-cream maker, but I digress.]

And the good news is that the roast and the casserole turned out awesome, too!  And we have leftovers from both, which means less work for me this week!  Win!

Moving on to non-food related subjects.  Which sounds infinitely less interesting, but I promise it's not.

Yesterday, as you probably know, was MLK Day.  A federal holiday.  A federal holiday on which Tim still had to work.  [But I'm not bitter.]  The good news, however, is that I got to go hang out with my sister-in-law, Ali, and her daughter, Kenzie, who did actually have this federal holiday off!  [Again, so not bitter.]

The truth is that having these in-laws nearby has made this transition so much easier, and I was so excited to spend the afternoon with them.

First, Ali got out her beads, and she had the amazing idea to make baby bracelets!  Something I never would have done on my own [you know, that whole Least-Crafty-Person-on-the-Planet-Award thing].  Luckily Ali inspired me with some bracelets that she'd made when Kenzie was a baby.  [And she did the tricky parts for me.  Something about "toggling."  Which I believe is also a synonym for "complicated."]

Aren't they so precious?  Maybe you can't tell, but these things are tiny.  Like, tiny enough to only fit around two of my fingers kind of tiny.  It's so hard for me to believe that she'll start out that tiny, and it makes my heart melt a little every time I look at them.

Then we drove over to the mall in Logan, and I may have gotten a little carried away where buying bows and flowers was concerned:

I just couldn't help myself.  I bought some crocheted headbands online [without any pre-attached bows] about a week ago, and started imagining how all of these would look on her teeny little head.  And then I bought them all.  [Thankfully they were having a buy one, get one 50% off sale.  Yesss.]

I had an amazing time with Ali and Kenzie, and can't wait until we hang out again!  Ali is so sweet and fun, and Kenzie is hilarious and always keeps things entertaining.

The moral of the story?  Even though I still think I might hyperventilate from the cold each time I step outside, and even though I miss AZ every single day, we are having a blast in the Land of the North.  And we plan on having many more adventures in the days to come!

the new moms secret club

No one ever told me that shopping for your own baby was going to be so fun.  Expensive, certainly.  But oh, so fun.

On Saturday, Tim and I drove into Ogden with the intention of buying the rest of the baby stuff that we didn't already have.  [I realize that we will probably run out of diapers and wipes within the first week, but I have already resigned myself to that fact.  The rest of the stuff was just way more tempting.]

For about a week now, I have been experiencing a "fire in the belly," as my dad would call it, when it comes to getting things ready for our baby.  The rest of the civilized world might call this phenomenon "nesting."  In fact, the first room in our new place to get completely [read: mostly] unpacked was the guest room/nursery.  Tim even spent a couple of long evenings after work putting together the crib and the bassinet and other things just so I could relax a little bit.  [Let's not dwell on the fact that our living room is a complete disaster area and I'm not even that concerned about it.]

I realize that I still have a little over four weeks till my due date.  But.  The truth of the matter is that our precious baby girl could make her appearance any day now if she wanted to.  I have just over a week until I'm considered "full term."  If I were to venture a guess, though, I would speculate that she won't be born at least until her due date.  But there's always that "what-if" question lingering in the back of my mind.

I'm sure the Target employees will be eternally grateful that Tim was there with me on Saturday to help make baby supply-buying decisions, because I literally could have stood and stared at the various brands of shampoo and monitors and things like breast pumps [that most of you probably don't even want to think about] for hours.  Days, maybe.  Who knew all this stuff could get so complicated?  I began to seriously consider the possibility that all of you new moms out there enter into a secret club in which you all decide to keep quiet and surreptitiously giggle at the rest of us who are trying to figure all this out.  [Ok so maybe it wasn't all that serious of a consideration.]  [But really.]

Even though it was confusing and at times frustrating, trying to figure out what we would really need, the exhilaration I felt at the checkout line was immense.  It almost made me forget that my feet felt the weight of a thousand elephants resting upon them.  Almost.

I can't do a ton of decorating in the "nursery," given that it's also the guest room and the fact that we're just renting for who-knows-how-long, but I do plan on doing a little bit.  And when I've done that, I'll try to remember to post some pictures.  But in the meantime, here's a picture of the bassinet in our room:

Isn't it precious?  Tim's sister Brigette gave it to us [holla!] and I just think it is the cutest thing in the whole world.

I feel like I have 1,013 more things to update you all about, but as I have a tendency to turn my blog posts into novels, I'll do you all a favor and stop there for now.  But as long as I'm not busy unpacking, taking a nap, watching tv, or unexpectedly going into labor, I'll be sure to post again soon.

utah or bust!

Right now I am sitting in the middle of stacks of boxes and piles of clutter.

I never thought I'd be so grateful to say that sentence.  But it's true.  After two of the craziest weeks of my life, we are finally in Utah.  And we finally got our U-Haul unloaded.  And even though everything is a crazy mess, I am just grateful.

Grateful that one of my best friends and my sister-in-law planned a spur-of-the-moment baby shower so that I could have one before we moved.  Grateful that my sweet mom and friends stayed to help me pack up our kitchen.  Grateful that my dad and brother were willing to drive down and help us load up the U-Haul.  Grateful that Tim's dad helped us load the U-Haul, drive it all the way up to Utah, and then unload it again once we got here.  And grateful that Tim's brothers and their sons spent an entire morning helping us unload the U-Haul.

By the time we finally got to our new home on Wednesday, it was the middle of the night, which meant unloading the next day.  Tim and his dad woke up early the next day to start unloading [I was up, too, don't worry!  I just didn't carry much...], and Tim's brother Jeremy came, too.  But early in the afternoon, the unseasonably cold temperatures [or so everyone keeps reassuring me] had turned into a good, old-fashioned blizzard, which made unloading especially difficult, as you can imagine.  The short of the long of it is that we didn't get the van completely unloaded until Saturday [and getting the van out of the icy, steep driveway is a story entirely unto itself].

I haven't even listed all of the ways in which people have served us over the past couple of weeks, and I am already in tears.  I am just so thankful.

To be completely truthful, however, not all of my tears over the past couple of weeks have been out of gratitude.  Part of me cries because I am pregnant.  Part of me cries when I feel our baby move around and I am just so thankful for the evidence that she is healthy in the midst of all of this.  Part of me cries because I already miss our families in AZ.  Part of me cries because the cold temperatures make me irrational.  Part of me cries when I am overwhelmed.  And yes, another part of me cries because I really am so thankful.

It sounds a bit like I need medication, doesn't it?  Well, I promise that in the midst of all this crying, I have been doing a lot of laughing, too.  Mostly at myself, and mostly after the fact.

Like that time after I walked around Temple Square with my friend and her baby and Tim came to pick me up and I almost started crying because I was just so cold.  He laughs when he tells people that I said hysterically, "Do you hate me?!" once we got inside the car, in reference to his moving me to another state with temperatures below zero when I was 34 weeks along.  [But I'm not bitter.] [Jk I'm really not.] [Ok maybe just a little.]

Or that time in church when the speaker said that her favorite musical was "Fiddler on the 'Ruff'" and I turned to Tim and said with tears in my eyes and whispered dramatically, "Did you hear what she just said?"

Or that time after church when I was trying to put on my socks standing up [because there was literally no where to sit] and I fell over into our bookcase, after which I tried putting on my boots but couldn't because it hurt my stomach, and then I walked out into the hallway to ask for Tim's help and somehow knocked over a stool that I hadn't even touched, and said shrilly, "I hate this!"  We still laugh about Tim's look of shock after this entire sequence of events.  Poor guy.

And now that you're all convinced that I really do need medication, I'll tell you a story about someone else who maybe needed medication.  We now live in a teeny tiny town just outside of Brigham City, UT, which means that the US Post Office is also very teeny tiny.  I walked in yesterday with the intention of opening a PO Box, and there was an employee who looked somewhat similar to Burl Ives talking on the phone.  After about five minutes of standing there during his call, I surmised that this was probably not a business call, but I wasn't in a hurry, so I just kept waiting patiently.  After about another five minutes, the man looked at me and said into the phone, "I have more information to pass on to you, but I can't do it with listening ears around."  He really said that!  Cross my heart and hope to die.  If I hadn't been in such shock, I might have burst out laughing right then.  What I should have said was, "Umm...do you want me to go wait outside?" and then pointed to the snow flurries through the window.

I think I'm going to like it here.

On an entirely different note, I'll post my two most recent "bump" pictures for posterity's sake.

Week 30

Week 33

And here is a picture of our new backyard [pre-blizzard]:

And another of our picturesque new church building:

Stay tuned for more of our adventures!  [Because who doesn't like a good story about irrationality now and then?]