the nails that were fake

This:

is proof that I am not very good at saying "no."

Or perhaps in this case, that I am not very good at saying "yes."

Let me explain.

When I was in high school, I decided that I wanted fake nails for my wedding.  I thought they were too ridiculously expensive [for my measly budget] to have on any other occasion.

So I waited.  [Very patiently, might I add.]

Fast forward: I am getting married.  This means I will be having a wedding.

Do you see where this is going?

That's right.

I got my nails done yesterday.  I had pictures today, so I got my nails done yesterday.

Eh, Pacha?

And here we are, back to the point of all this nonsensical rambling: the fact that I can't say no.  Or in this case, that I couldn't say yes.

After the very-nice-Asian-man-whose-accent-I-couldn't-entirely-understand cut down the tips, he asked if I wanted them shorter.

I replied that I did.

He cut them shorter.

Then he started filing.

There was only one problem: I still wanted them even shorter.

But he had already started filing.  And he seemed like such a nice man.  And I didn't want him to have to start all over again with the filing.  And, you know, maybe I didn't really need them to be all that short anyway.  I could probably enjoy them this length.  I mean, they still looked good, right?

The man must have noticed me staring intently at my nails, because he said, mid-file, "Oh no, you want them shorter, don't you?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," I thought.  "No," I said.

"Whaaaa?" I thought.

And there you have it, my friends.  How I came to have much longer nails than I had so long envisioned.  [Ok, so they're not really that long...right?  Comfort me here, people.  I don't look like the Wicked Witch of the West now, do I???]

And now we've finally come full circle - back to the point.  Usually my problem is that I can't say no to people, because I am a major people pleaser, people.  I just would rather see someone looking happy than someone looking sad.  Even if I'm paying that someone to, oh, you know, put acrylics on my nails, or something.  [Hypothetically speaking, of course.]  And instead, this time, I said no when I actually wanted to say yes.  [Confused?  So am I.]

Moral of the story?  Sometimes it's ok to say no.

[Another] moral of the story?  Sometimes it's ok to say yes.

[Not really a] moral of the story?  I will probably continue to do things simply because I think it makes someone else happy.  All of this nonsensical rambling soul-searching probably won't change any of that.

p.s.  I would just like to give a shout-out to Tim, who sat right there in that nail salon with me the entire time I was getting my nails done.  And only laughed a few times - but mostly when my feet were being scrubbed with that, er, whatever-that-thing-is-that-gets-dead-skin-off-your-feet, and I couldn't stop giggling.  [It's ok, everyone else was laughing at me, too.]

p.p.s. If you don't like kissing pictures, you probably shouldn't look at that picture.

p^3.s.  Oops, too late.

a glimpse of heaven

As you might have read from the last post, I had the privilege of going through the Mesa LDS Temple on Friday.

Courtesy of Holdsworth Photography

It was beautiful.  Stunning.  Inspiring.  Incredible.  Spiritual.

And most of all, it was humbling.

Humbling because I felt so grateful to be able to enter the House of the Lord, as imperfect as I am.  And humbling because I have so much to learn.  It was similar to my college experience: I learned how much I don't know.  And that's absolutely fine with me.

The temple is so peaceful.  So perfect.  So serene.

Everyone there is so kind and helpful.

The Spirit I felt changed me for a lifetime.

I'd always heard the same strange things about the temple that everyone else has heard.  But it honestly was the most perfect thing I have ever witnessed or been a part of.  Nothing to be scared of or nervous about.

My brother, Jeff, was able to go through on the same day as me.  Every time I think about that blessing, it makes me cry a little bit.  My parents drove down for the special occasion.  Two of my best friends were able to come.  Tim's parents were able to attend.  And having Tim there made me cry a little bit, too.  [I may have cried a lot that day.]  The love I felt emanating from all of them made me so grateful for our Heavenly Father's plan for all of us.  That death is not the end.  That life continues beyond the grave and that we can be with our families in heaven.

More than anywhere else I have ever been, the temple gave me a little glimpse of heaven.

Yes, I feel like a lucky, lucky girl.

i love to see the temple

I feel like I have 1,024 things to update you on.

Like how Tim and I dressed up as cows on Friday.  [More details to come.  Be excited.]

Or how we got our marriage license this morning and how I tried really hard not to be gullible.  [Sneaky sneaky, Clerk.]

Or how we got our engagement pictures back yesterday!  [Ashtyn you da you da bessst.]

Or how we're gonna send out our announcements at the end of this week.  [Keep your fingers crossed!]

Or how we talked to our stake president [religious leader] on Sunday.

Or 1,019 other things.

And I will tell you about those things, I promise.  [Like you could even get out of it.]

But really, right now I just want to tell you the reason why we talked to our stake president last Sunday.

On Friday, I am going to this place:

Courtesy of Holdsworth Photography

I have been waiting to go there my whole life.  And now that it's finally happening, it all feels so surreal.

More than anything, I feel grateful.  Grateful that I am going to be able to enter the House of the Lord.  Grateful that loved ones will be there with me.

And most of all, grateful that Heavenly Father has provided a way for all of us to return back to live with Him someday.

I love to see the temple.
I’m going there someday
To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.
I’ll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.

I love to see the temple.

I’ll go inside someday.
I’ll cov’nant with my Father;
I’ll promise to obey.
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.
As a child of God, I’ve learned this truth:
A fam’ly is forever.

guest posting

So I was thinking about doing something similar to what my lovely friend Alexis did when she got married:

Have guest posters while I'm on my honeymoon.  [cough*HAWAII*cough]

Now if you think that this is a little too hip for me...you're absolutely right.

I'm not a very hip blogger.

One step at a time, my friends.

Ok, some deets: I will have opportunities for guest posting August 5th through August 12th.  [That's a pretty long time, I know.  And I might not be able to fill all those spots, I realize.  But.  If I could, that would be pretty fantastic.]

Obviously, I would need your posts before then, but...we can come up with some sort of deadline later.

But first, are any of you interested in guest posting?  We don't have to know each other very well.  Or at all.  [As long as you're not crazy.  Or a rapist.  Or a murder.  Or a stalker.  Or any combination of the aforementioned things.  If you are, kindly get off my blog.]  I would love to get to know all of you a whole lot better!  And really, even if this is your first time to my blog, but you feel so inclined, please feel free to chime in.

You can email me at: kaitlyn.sparks.1@asu.edu.

So...who's in?

giggle fests

Today I was looking through the pictures on my phone and I realized that at least 90% of the pictures of Tim are of him being goofy.  [Or he's smiling normally but his eyes are closed.]  Which doesn't bother me a bit, because I love to giggle.  And looking at those pictures definitely makes me giggle.

Here are some examples.

I don't know what he's doing in this picture, but I do know that it makes me giggle.

Piggy-back ride for the nieces?  Check.

Cheesy smiles?  Check.

This one makes me giggle profusely.  Don't judge.

Sometimes he just gets a little hungry [but I am a good cook...really........].

And I would say this is his most common look.  And I am totally ok with that.  [It looks like a "sleepy" look or a "high" look, but really it's just a "normal" look.]

Thank you, Tim, for letting me put incriminating pictures on the internet, for putting up with my giggle fests, and for causing most of them.

the luckiest

I know, I know...I have been a very bad blogger lately.

Please forgive me.

This whole month-and-a-half of wedding planning [now less than a month!] is keeping me quite busy, I must say.

Plus, Tim and I went to California for the Fourth of July with mi familia to visit my grandma and my aunt.  Which was mucho fun-o.  [Thanks for asking.]  We ate food, watched fireworks, enjoyed episodes of The Twilight Zone [I'd never seen it, and hi, why had no one ever told me to watch it before?!], ate more food, went shopping, ate food again, and mostly just enjoyed each other's company.  [Obviously food is a major theme in my family.  No complaints here.]

My wedding dress is currently being altered, and can I just say...there are few things that I have ever loved as much as this dress.  [Material things, not people, duh.]  My ring is high up on that list, along with my stuffed animal, Blueberry.  [Don't judge.]  I wish I could adequately explain how beautiful it is, but I guess you'll see it soon enough.  [#pictureoverload]

Between bridal showers, a bachelorette party, pre-wedding pictures [I didn't really want him to see me in my dress before the wedding, but really, it just made the most sense. #mesaisreallyhotinaugust], sending out announcements, receiving my endowment [#soexcited], booking our honeymoon [we're going to Hawaii!  whaaat!  and my roommate just informed me that that's where Cory and Topanga went on their honeymoon, and that makes it 1,000 times better], and just general wedding planning, my free time is extremely limited.  But I am loving every second of it.

When I get stressed or overwhelmed, I need only to look at Tim to remember why this is worth it.  He smiles at me and it is completely apparent that he loves me [and then I feel like the luckiest girl in the world].  He calms me down when I want to cry and takes over responsibilities that I don't want [and doesn't even complain like I sometimes do].  He gets excited and says he can't wait to spend the rest of forever with me [even if later in life we both gain some weight and a few wrinkles].

Yes, I am a very, very lucky girl.

machine model

Today I just wanted to give a little shout out to Machine Model.

Oh...what?  What's that?  You mean you haven't heard of them?

...that's ok.  But seriously, you should check them out.  Go ahead, go listen.

Now lemme tell you a little secret...that lead singer?  Who also plays the rhythm guitar?

Oh yeah, he's also my fiancé.

[A girl can brag sometimes, right?]

And if you're interested, they're probably, most likely, almost completely certainly going to have a show or two in the Phoenix area sometime this month.  And they love fans, let me tell you.  [And a couple of them are still single.  But I didn't tell you that.]

p.s. "She's Letting Me Go" and "As She Moves" are two of my favorites on their site.  But they have some stellar ones that aren't even up yet.

p.p.s. You can thank me later.  [Or now.  Whichever you prefer.]